#9 Moments > Materials
Accumulate MOMENTS in your life, not materials!
Steve Steele
6/29/20266 min read
The undeniable truth above is exactly why the time we have is precious, and our most important resource. Our hourglasses have all been flipped over, sand is falling through to the bottom, and none of us know when the last grains will cross the threshold along with our soul. Everyone's life is impacted by tragic accidents, brutal disease, and many other challenges that sometimes cause our loved one's sand to run out before we are ready. There are some people facing that reality at this very moment wondering how much sand is left to fall in their hourglass, hoping for just a little more. While in many ways, this can be humbling, somber, and in some cases terrifying, I do not seek to break my tradition of spreading positivity, so bear with me, it's coming!
I can't tell you how many times one of our coaches has told our players something like, "You never know when your last play will be, so play every one of them like it is your last." Last season, in a singular play, we had two seniors, Tucker and Carter unexpectedly experience their last play due to season (and being seniors, career) ending injuries. They were every bit prepared (or more, knowing them) to continue playing and helping our team while playing the game they loved. Unfortunately, their football hourglass ran out on the exact same play in Spearfish.
I still feel bad today because as they both laid on the field Tucker was hurt, but didn't look hurt as bad as Carter. So, I tapped his shoulder and made my way to Carter. Almost immediately, my heart sank as I saw his ankle. His foot was pointing in the wrong direction. Even being in terrible pain, Carter accepted his predicament right there. Rightfully so, he wasn't happy about it but as the trainers worked hard to stabilize his leg, Carter and I talked about how much bigger life is than football. I was so proud of him for handling it the way he did (definitely better than I would have in his shoes). He understood that he was so much more than just a great football player. He demonstrated maturity far beyond his years. He cheered on his team as he left for the hospital, and both him and Tucker (who had a very similar injury, without the obvious displacement) were phenomenal teammates the rest of the season rocking scooter patrol as their legs recovered.
Reflecting on Carter's acceptance, it occurred to me that he realized two important things. First, he couldn't change his predicament. Second, he was proud of the moments and memories he created in his football career. Sure, there was disappointment and pain (physical and emotional), but you could tell that he felt like he had some great moments he would carry with him. He also knew that he had emptied his tank as best he could. Tucker felt much of the same, in some cases even more so, having had a similar injury at the midpoint of his junior season as well. Both guys are great examples of working hard and leaving everything on the field, and then accepting their predicaments and continuing to be the best teammates they could to help after their injuries.
Can we live our lives the same way? In such a way that our life overflows with goodness, and that when our hourglasses begin to empty, we are at peace with the moments we have created throughout our lives? I hope so. No doubt everyone experiences those situations differently with varying levels of anxiousness, but the moments and memories we create can become a phenomenal movie to reminisce on throughout our lives, not just at the end. I would be willing to bet that many of us are likely to see that moments we experienced, not materials we have, are what we are most proud of and are most memorable to us. Sure, materials could be involved in some of our moments, but chances are you are remembering the moment or the people within it, more than the materials in it.
I recently had lunch with a friend, Tad. He's much older than me, but very active in volunteering for the Club. I always look forward to getting to chat with him and gain learn from his life experience and stories. As we chatted and ate together, he told me about a wonderful family trip he had taken, which sounded amazing. They were in a great location and doing fun things, but the majority of what he talked about were the members of his family, like how much fun he had with his grandkids and karaoke. It wasn't the what, but the who, having all of his kids and grandkids in one place together.
As he asked about my family travels, I shared about our trip and the many happenings and busyness that is four kids (or as I said at times, 3 kids and a crazy), I could see him reminiscing through the stories I told. Many of the things I talked about led him into sharing a follow up story from his times in similar situations years ago. You could see how happy those moments made him to think about as he heard about my tribe. Everything from dealing with a kid addicted to reading and learning, to a wild child that is a lot of fun and a terror all at once, was discussed and laughed at.
While it appears 12+ hour road trip parenting strategies have changed over the years, it doesn't sound like the issues of children fighting in the backseat, getting sick of being in the car, and parents having to trade-off driving and managing children has changed as much. But as we talked, laughed, and even teared up discussing our families and the many memories, almost everything we talked about revolved around the people in our lives that made those moments special. He was referencing moments that occurred well before I was born and his face was lighting up like he was still there with a makeshift barrier separating the kids and him and his wife in their station wagon. You felt right there as he talked about it.
Of all the things I have learned from him over the past few years of getting to know him (and believe me there has been A LOT), this lunch taught me even more. He is someone that has been extremely successful in many areas. On top of that, he has made a profound difference everywhere he has been involved and constantly thinks of how he can help others. But it is very easy to see in listening and watching him tell stories what actually drives him. The memories he holds in his mind are an incredible film of a life lived to the fullest, making impact after impact on his family, and to communities in different parts of the country. I felt honored to listen to him rehash some scenes from that movie, and continue to teach me what is truly important. So, thank you Tad for being a shining example of keeping the main thing the main thing, and as much as our work and accomplishments may feel great, they pale in comparison to the moments we are able to make with the people who are most important in our lives!
PARTING THOUGHTS
If your hourglass ran out today, what are the moments you would be most proud to have in your film? Are you currently living in a way that adds to that reel, or simply filling time between the scenes that matter?
Think of someone in your life like Tad. Someone further down the road, whose face lights up when they talk about the people they love. What have they taught you, simply by the way they remember their life? Have you ever told them?
Carter accepted the end of his football career on the same field where it ended, because he knew he had emptied his tank. When the final whistle blows on a chapter of your own life; a season, a job, a stage of parenting, will you be able to say the same?
The next time you are tempted to give your best energy to something material like a purchase, a project, a pursuit of recognition, ask yourself honestly: is this something I will remember, or something I will own? Are you investing your sand in moments or in things?
"No one gets out of this life alive. So leave a footprint of your choice. You are writing your epitaph. You are writing it now! Life is a process, not a goal."
- Charles Franklin