#3 The Five-Minute Rule

At the start of the 2022-23 school year, I was fortunate to be a part of our school district starting an alternative setting program. The program was named the Riggs Academic Center, RAC for short. We had toured others and worked to plan out what this program would look like and how it could best serve our students who needed that setting to be able to thrive in high school.

As with all new things, there was a learning curve. We had around 50 kids that took part in the program the first year. It didn't take long before we realized how much of a game changer this could be for our students. Throughout my teaching career, getting to be a part of starting RAC was one of my proudest moments. I worked with a small but mighty team to pull it off and advocate for our kids.

One of our students at RAC that school year and the next was a football player named Austyn. Austyn loved football. He was also someone who hadn't thought much of college being in the cards. He also loved cars and working on them. The normal school setting was a challenge. Austyn thrived with more individualized attention, help, and guidance. Like many high schoolers, he could also use some prodding here and there to get in gear.

On the football side, he was part of four state championship teams. He was a great role player for us and served as a nose guard, being able to clog up the middle on defense. More than that he was a great kid and teammate who loved our team. In May of his senior year, as we approached graduation, he told me he received an opportunity to go to college and continue playing football. He was going to take it. However, the excitement generated when he told me about it dissipated a bit when I asked if he wanted to do a signing. With the end of school coming up, there was a lot going on. He was nervous because we couldn't use the library like most signings because of testing, and he wasn't sure who would all come with everything going on. I was also heading to Tampa Bay to work their Rookie Camp as a part of their National Coaching Academy and had a speaking engagement that I had to prepare for and execute. The easy answer in many ways would have been to skip it and carry on with life. Nevertheless, we decided to say yes and make sure he got the signing he deserved.

On May 14th, 2024, we held a special college signing in my classroom. While the traditional signing day is the first Wednesday in February, there have been a few times we have had a separate one if we had a player sign after the "official" date. We made sure we had the media there to cover it, we made sure he had some goodies lined up, and we made sure it was in the announcements so that people knew about it. My classroom was much smaller than the library but it was set up nice for the moment. This all may have taken a little more than five minutes to get planned and set up, but it was a small amount of time compared to the potential impact that being celebrated can have on a person.

It ended up being a great little signing ceremony. We had his graphic posted, gave some remarks and took plenty of pictures. He was able to do a few interviews with the media too but most importantly he was celebrated. Austyn was a great example of someone who worked their tail off for the team but wasn't always celebrated due to his position and role. Beyond that, he worked hard to get to graduation and earn the opportunity to go to college. You never know how much a seemingly small thing can matter to someone. Since that day he has finished his Associate's and will be moving to the University of Minnesota-Morris to finish a four-year degree and continue playing football.

The Nomination

Another five-minute rule example occurred in the middle of our first championship season in Pierre. JC Byer (also mentioned in a previous post) had been working the booth all season with his dad Keith, crunching numbers in his head faster than our coaches could process them. His contributions were real. Our guys knew it. Our staff knew it.

I sat down on my lunch and wrote up a nomination for JC for Athlete of the Week at our school. I described what he did, why it mattered, and what it meant to our program. I submitted it.

It took me roughly five minutes.

JC won. And what happened next has stayed with me ever since. The pride on his face. The pride on his parents' faces. A young man who had spent most of his life on the edges of things dealing with too much noise, too much chaos, too much of the world moving faster than he could process it, was now being recognized, publicly. As a contributor. As someone who mattered to a team. As someone who was MOMENTOUS.

That moment didn't belong to me. I didn't earn that recognition or feel that pride. But I was able to play a part in causing it. Five minutes of my time set off a chain reaction I couldn't have predicted. JC grew in confidence throughout the rest of that season in ways that were visible to everyone around him. His comfort expanded. His willingness to engage with the team deepened. He ran onto the field after the final whistle at the State Championship and gave me a high five. He's in our team picture. He was featured in a Midco Sports Magazine segment that inspired people across the region who had never heard of Pierre football.

Much of it traces back to just five minutes of a lunch break.

As shared in the last post, intentionality is one of the four ingredients of a Momentous Moment. It is a deliberate decision to create something meaningful for someone, rather than leaving it to chance.

Here's where most people get stuck: I don't have time for that.

I want to dismantle that excuse completely but not because it isn't real. I understand better than most how little margin exists in a week full of work, coaching, and four kids. But some of the most powerful moments ever created for another person cost a minimal amount of time. Five minutes. Sometimes less.

The Five-Minute Rule is simple: if an opportunity to make a meaningful moment for someone costs you five minutes or less, there is no legitimate reason to let it pass. No schedule is too full. No week is too busy. The refusal to spend five minutes is not due to a resource problem, but rather a priority problem.

The 5 AM Phone Call

March 23rd, 2019 I was in Brookings (3 hours away) at our state football coaches' conference preparing to present the next day. I was just getting to my hotel room and getting changed when my wife Audrey called and said I better head home. I made the three-hour drive back in the middle of the night, got home around 3 AM, and by 5 AM Audrey was ready to head to the hospital.

Audrey had called her mom to come help, but she was three hours away. I needed someone to come watch our son Simon, who was still asleep, until Audrey's mom could arrive.

I called our Quarterback at the time, Garrett, who lived one street over from us.To somewhat my surprise, he answered at 5 AM on a Saturday. Five minutes later he was walking into our house and we were headed to the hospital. He hung out with Simon until Audrey's mom arrived, and I was able to stay the hospital in time to welcome our daughter Gianna into the world later that morning, just before I had originally been scheduled to present at the conference.

Garrett didn't have to do that. It wasn't in any job description. It cost him a few hours of sleep on a weekend morning. But that phone call, and his immediate answer, is one of the moments I will never forget. It had nothing to do with football and everything to do with who he was as a person and what our program had become in terms of our principle of Forget About Me I Love You.

Here's the thing though: Garrett showing up at 5 AM didn't come from nowhere. It came from small moments stacking on top of each other. Our coaches always seek to treat our players like family. To show up for them in small (and big) way. The culture that had been quietly built through hundreds of tiny decisions. The five-minute moments create the culture. The culture then creates moments you never could have planned.

What Five Minutes Actually Buys You

The math here matters. Five minutes is:

A handwritten note left in someone's locker. A text to a parent telling them something specific their kid did in practice that you were proud of. A nomination for an award. A phone call to a person you respect, just to say you're thinking of them. Staying two minutes after a meeting to tell someone individually what you said to the whole group. Sending a photo to a child's family that you know will mean something to them.

None of these require a special occasion. None require a planning committee. They require only two things: that you were paying attention, and that you chose to act.

The leaders that fail at this aren't bad people. They're busy and distracted people. Sometimes they notice the moment, they see the opportunity, and then they wait. They think they'll do it later, when things slow down. Things don't slow down. The moment passes. The person on the other end of that unmade gesture will never know what almost happened. But over time, the leader will feel the cumulative weight of all those missed moments, even if they can't name them.

The Challenge

For the next seven days, I want you to operate under one simple constraint:

If an opportunity to create a meaningful moment for someone costs you five minutes or less, take it. No exceptions.

That's it. You don't have to redesign your program, overhaul your culture, or read a leadership book. Just set the bar at five minutes and see what happens. Pay attention to the people around you this week and when you see the opportunity, take it. Write the note. Make the call. Send the text. Submit the nomination.

You'll be surprised how many five-minute windows show up when you're actually looking for them. And you'll be surprised how far five minutes can travel when it lands on the right person at the right moment.

PARTING THOUGHTS

• Think of someone in your life right now who deserves to be recognized. What is the smallest possible action you could take. What is something you can do in under five minutes that would let them know you see them?

• How many five-minute moments have you let pass this week alone because you told yourself you were too busy? What was actually filling those five minutes instead?

• Who in your circle operates quietly in the background, contributing in ways that rarely get acknowledged? What would it mean to them if you changed that today?