#16 Momentous Friendships
Which friendships in your life are truly MOMENTOUS?
Steve Steele
8/17/20265 min read
I have just recently come to experience one of the very best parts of coaching. This summer, there have been a lot of alumni getting married and others returning with their children to come say hi. It has been truly humbling to attend these events or have them visit with their young children and to hear how much of an impact a coach can have on their lives. Getting to experience these feelings has been truly special.
One of these experiences occurred at a recent wedding of a former player. This wedding had a large group of alumni in attendance, and in particular, it was a group of friends that were always especially close throughout their high school years. They were a group that wasn't just talented athletes, but good kids, and even better friends. The type of group that becomes so close, and has so much fun together. It's probably a little weird if you don't know them to see them interact with each other.
The wedding was no different. They were a few years older and now lived in different places around the country. But that night they were the same group of guys they were in high school, not so long ago. Watching them enjoy each other's company and celebrate the marriage of one of their own was something special to behold. It really looked like they never missed a beat. Like they came back and picked up right where they left off the last time they were together before they went their own directions for college. It was so special to see the bond that they all still had together, and the pure joy they had in celebrating with each other.
As I drove home that night, the evening made me think of my own high school buddies. It was really hard not to see my friends in how these boys interacted in celebrating at that wedding. Finding "your people" that you can truly be yourself around, that you can always call and chat with no matter where you all are, and that you can pick up right where you left off with years apart is something I hope everyone can find. As hard as high school can be for many, it was where I found some of "my people" and sports (especially football) gave me even more of them.
I hate to admit that we are approaching our 20-year high school reunion in a couple years. However, it is amazing that even though we are starting to get old, we still have a group text thread that we all engage in on a daily or near daily basis. Some parts of the year it becomes almost constant participation. Whether it's good ribbings, reminiscing on old times, sharing and celebrating news, complaining about our favorite sports teams, it's a constant reminder of the people we grew up with and the people who helped us become who we are today. The people who truly accepted us for who we were in a time where we were still figuring that out.
I was never the most confident kid growing up. I was never the life of the room because I was so unsure of myself and so self-conscious about many different things. But Doug, Nick, Kyle, and Suj always let me be me and I was a better person for having them in my life through my high school years. The best thing about our friend group was that we were all different enough that we made each other better and inspired each other to be ourselves. Together, whatever we had or didn't have, we could make anything out of nothing. From bored days burning CDs after downloading songs on Limewire (before Spotify/Deezer were things for youngins, or recording a mixtape semi-illegally for the older generations), to having a Jet's Pizza Draft, playing Halo or Night Fire, and having a poker tournament, we did them all. Bored days are much different now with smart phones and many people (myself included at times) can't handle boredom without burying ourselves in our phones.
My generation's journey through our formative years coincided with an information explosion. Moving from dial-up and AOL Instant Messaging, to knowing what a busy signal was on a landline, to having to pay per text message and per minute talked on an old school flip phone. We grew up without cell phones, had internet where "googling" took minutes to complete a search not milliseconds. In many ways that allowed us the unique opportunity to experience "the old days" while being the only generation to learn "the new technologies" as they became popular and widely integrated into everyday life. Every generation has their journey and milestones along the way, these just happened to be mine.
Working back to making your own momentous friendships, that is why it is so important to develop those friendships in your own formative years or to reconnect with them as you age. They are the only ones who you truly experience the journey of your generation with. As we age and we find new friends and coworkers, many times they have different experiences. While we seek and can succeed at knowing each other, we meet and interact with the product of who we grew up to be, without knowing the starting point and process it took to get there. Our families may know the starting point and much of the process, but they themselves can be in different generations with their own experiences not aligned with your timeline of events.
While we can have many different momentous relationships with different people throughout our lives, the wedding I attended a few weeks ago was a great reminder for me that our own momentous friendships often begin at some point throughout childhood. Our friends that accept us and help us work through the troubles of growing up, the ones who help you through navigating the school years with raging hormones and emotional overreactions (or under reactions) are also the ones who shared in that journey. So, as you finish reading this week's post, consider your own momentous friendships from the stages of your life, and think of some you may want or need to reconnect with to share how much sharing the journey together has helped you become who you were meant to be.
PARTING THOUGHTS
Think of your own "Doug, Nick, Kyle, and Suj." The people who knew you before you knew yourself and accepted you anyway. When did you last tell them what those years, and that friendship, actually meant to you?
The alumni at that wedding picked up exactly where they left off, years and miles apart. Is there a friendship in your life that deserves that same reunion? Someone you've drifted from not because anything went wrong, but simply because life got busy and the distance grew quietly?
The moments you made with nothing (burned CDs, pizza drafts, late nights that didn't need a reason) were some of the richest of your life. What does that tell you about what you're chasing now, and whether the people around you matter more than the plans you make with them?
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others.”